


For The Days When I Love Him So Much But All I Feel Is Sadness

by lalala53



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, First Kiss, M/M, Spotify playlists, lowkey elmax and henclair and stoncy vibes, the title makes it sound so angsty but it's really fluffy i swear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-23
Updated: 2018-01-23
Packaged: 2019-03-08 11:32:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13457355
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lalala53/pseuds/lalala53
Summary: “You should say something Mike. It's written all over both of your faces how you feel.”“Maybe on mine but I’d know if Will liked me.”“How would you know?”“I just would. Will is brave. He would have said something by now.”"Will is definitely brave but maybe you need to be the brave one for a change.”





	For The Days When I Love Him So Much But All I Feel Is Sadness

**Author's Note:**

  * For [transtarboy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/transtarboy/gifts).



> I sent a vague idea of this fic to tozbraks on tumblr and now here I am because I have no control over my life. 
> 
> This was written on mobile so sorry for spelling misltakes and stuff.

Will pays for spotify premium because he has an order he likes to listen to songs in okay and without premium his playlists would constantly be on shuffle. He has a playlist his brother made called “Real Music” which okay has some good songs on it but to retaliate Will made a playlist called “Even realer music” with just One Direction and Jonas Brothers songs. Will has a lot of playlists based on moods. He has one called “You made it this far”, one with all the different colored emoji hearts and the rainbow and it's filled with Gay™️ songs. 

But the playlist Will has been listening to the most recently is one titled “For the days when I love him so much but all I feel is Sadness”. He’ll admit it's a little emo but unrequited love is a bitch and “A Drop In The Ocean” by Ron Pope is a jam.  


Will thumbs through his account while his mom drives him to school. He contemplates listening to his happy gay playlist but then he remembers how Mike looked when he was facetiming him last night and how happy he looked and how Mikes freckles glowed like stars in the low light of his bedroom. Will decides to listen to his sad love playlist. 

Apparently it's a little too loud because Joyce says, “Sweetie now I do love a tear jerker song once and while but do you have to listen to ‘All by Myself’ so loudly?”

Will doesn't hear her over his meme like angst. 

Joyce taps him on the arm to get his attention. Will pulls out one of his earbuds.

“Sorry, did you say something?” 

“What's wrong, Will?” 

“Nothing's wrong.” Except every time Will goes to sleep all he dreams about is Mike. During the day he can push his feelings down. Push them all the way down till he can almost forget about them. But at night his mind betrays him and shows him simple things that are realistic but slightly out of reach. Dreams of him and Mike watching Star Wars but sitting so close together they're almost cuddling. Or both of them at Castle Byers doing homework in the early months of school year before the fall air nips too much at their noses. 

Will is drawn back to reality by his mom.

“Well it's just that…” Joyce stops, seemingly like she's looking for better words, “you're listening to a lot of sad love songs. I was just wondering if something happened. You know you can tell me anything, right?” 

“I know mom. And nothing happened.” Will grumbles.

“Oh so nothing happening is the problem.”  
Sometimes Will wishes his mom wasn't so smart. 

“Yeah, I guess.”

“Well, you know I’m here if you ever want to talk about it. “

“Thanks mom.”

Joyce gives him a soft smile and directs her full attention back to the road. Will puts his earbuds back in. He decides to listen to some 80s pop instead.

****

“I'm just saying that in X-Men The Last Stand they show Charles and Erik going to Jean Grey's house in 1986 to get a young Jean Grey who looks about 10 but in Apocalypse she is 16-17 and that takes place in 1989!” Dustin says.

“Yeah but the timeline changed with Days of Future Past!” Lucas replies. 

“How could the X-men fuck up the timeline so much that they make Erik and Charles enemies sooner rather than later and literally alter when their parents decides to fuck and have kids?!” Dustin yells back. 

“I don't know dude! Movie continuity sucks!” 

“That's a shitty explanation!” 

“It’s the only one that makes sense!” 

“But at least we can all agree that Erik was right and humanity sucks,” Max pipes in. 

“Yeah can we not talk about the X-men cinematic timeline? It gives me a headache,” Will says.

Will’s request falls on deaf ears as Dustin and Lucas continue to try and work out the X-men timeline. All the party is hanging out in the Wheeler’s basement as per usual. Today Max is (badly) painting Eleven’s nails. El will never tell Max that she sucks at painting nails but she confided in Will that she lets Max so she can practice. 

Mike looks on to Dustin and Lucas’s argument with vague amusement. He moves over closer to Will and whispers to him.

“You've been kinda quiet all night. Is something wrong?” 

“You're not even the first person to ask me that today,” Will responds. Mike furrows his brow at that.

“My mom asked me the same thing. I guess I just feel introspective today.” 

“Well you do only listen to 80s pop when you feel like thinking.”

“How did you know I was listening to 80s pop earlier?” 

“I could hear you listening to ‘Jessie's Girl’ when we were in the library for science.”

“Did someone say… JESSIE’S GIRL!?” Max jumps up from her spot on the floor and nearly smudges the work she did on El’s right hand. 

“Oh god no,” Lucas says. 

“JESSIE IS A FRIEND… YEAH I KNOW HE’S BEEN A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE! BUT LATELY SOMETHING'S CHANGED AND IT'S HARD TO DEFINE JESSIE'S GOT HIMSELF A GIRL AND I WANT TO MAKE HER MINE!” Max sings. 

“And she's watching him with those eyes. And she's loving him with that body, I just know it. And he's holding her in his arms late, late at night!” El continues.

“You know I wish that I had Jessie's girl! I wish that I had Jessie's girl! Where can I find a woman like that?” Everyone is singing along at this point. X-men timelines forgotten as they sing their hearts out. 

By the end of the song they are all in hysterics. They sang slightly off key and without any actual music by damn if they didn't try. 

There are steps suddenly coming down the basement steps. Jonathan pokes his head down.  
“Hey guys. Sorry to break you guys up but i got to take Will and Jane home.” 

“Shotgun!” Eleven says. 

“Come on who taught her that?” Will sighs. 

Max giggles. Culprit found. Will will get her back later. Eleven makes her way towards the steps and Will gets up from his spot on the couch but Mike pulls him back down and lips brushing against his ear. 

“Facetime at 9?”

Will nods and Mike gives him that small crooked smile that makes Will's heart beat a little faster. Will gets up and heads to the stairs. Eleven is already sitting in the front so Will is truly resigned to the back. That's okay because then he can listen to his music and Will is feeling more butterflies in his stomach than usual. He's not feeling particularly sad though. Will decides that ‘Youth’ by Troye Sivan really captures what he's feeling right now.

***

Lucas and Max left the Wheelers shortly after Will and El did. Which means Mike was left with Dustin's knowing grin. 

“What are you smiling at?” 

“You've got it so so so bad.” 

“What no I don't!” 

“You wouldn't stop looking at Will the entire time!”

“Oh okay says the guy who teasing and picking fights with Lucas all night!” 

Dustin’s grin lessens but it doesn't deter him. He's really a trooper. 

“You should say something Mike. It's written all over both of your faces how you feel.”

“Maybe on mine but I’d know if Will liked me.”  
“How would you know?” 

“I just would. Will is brave. He would have said something by now.”

“You don't know that.” 

Mike didn't know how to respond back but thank god he didn't because Steve had come down from Nancy’s room.

“Alright shithead I gotta bring you home… Oh Will and El are gone. Jonathan came by and didn't say anything to me or Nance? Boy he is getting words tonight.” 

“Gross I don't want to hear about your weird relationship with my sister and Jonathan.” 

“Whatever. Come on Dustin.” 

Dustin gets up from the floor and heads up the steps. He stops at the top and turns around.

“Will is definitely brave but maybe you need to be the brave one for a change.” 

And with that Mike is left alone in his basement with only his thoughts; which all just happen to be about Will. 

To distract himself Mike grabs his laptop with the intent of getting some homework done. He opens chrome and goes to the spotify web player. When mike found out Will pays for premium he begged Will to give him his login info. Will relented after Mike said he'd give him his netflix password. 

Premium doesn't do much on the web but at least there is no adds. Mike usually browses the moods category but he decides to look at Will’s playlists. 

They are titled as such:  
Brendon Urie Hates Me  
Feel Good 80s  
Real Music  
Even Realer Music  
You've Made it this Far  
Persona 5 Feelings  
Brain Food

Mike almost clicked on the Persona 5 playlist before a different one catches his eye. It's “For The Days When I Love Him So Much But All I Feel Is Sadness”.

Mike’s heart stops. Who is this about? It's not about him is it? It can't be. Will knows Mike has access to his account and Will wouldn't be that careless. It could easily be about Dustin or Lucas or any other boy for that matter. There's only one way Mike can find out for sure. 

To: El-light of my life  
April 12th, 2017 at 8:43 p.m.

hey can i ask you something?

 

To: Miiiiiiiiiike  
April 12th, 2017 at 8:46 p.m.

Of course. What's wrong Mike? 

 

To: El-light of my life  
April 12th, 2017 at 8:46 p.m.

so i found a playlist on wills spotify called “For The Days When I Love Him So Much But All I Feel Is Sadness” so uh who does he like? 

 

To:Miiiiiiiiiike  
April 12th, 2017 at 8:47 p.m. 

I can't tell you that Mike. You should really talk to Will about it. :)

Mike feels his heart leap into his throat. El wouldn't lead him wrong. She knows how Mike feels about him. Dustin's words come back to him. Be brave for once. 

Mike takes a deep breath and starts making changes to the playlist.

 

***

 

“Why are you smiling like that?” Will asks Eleven and they sit at the dining room table. El puts her phone down.

“Like what?”

“Like you're scheming. What are you and Max planning now,” Will laughs. 

“Maybe..” El starts but is interrupted by Hopper coming in.

“Alright kids it's nine at night and you have school tomorrow come one get to bed.” 

Will didn't realize it was nine! He has to facetime Mike. Will dashes to his room before Hopper can say anything else to him. His phone starts ringing as soon as he closes the door. He gets on his bed and answers. 

“Hey,” says Will

“Hey,” Mike replies. Will noticed something seems off. Mike’s got this look on his face like he wants to say something but doesn't know how too. 

“What's up you look like you've got something on your mind.”

“Oh, nothing I was just doing some homework. Listening to music on spotify."

“Oh cool what were you listening too?”

Will sees Mike gulp. That's when Will remembers his playlist about Mike. 

“Oh you know I dabbled in the Persona 5 playlist but I uh…” Mike looks away. 

“You know it's a school night and Hopper would be mad if he found out I was up I gotta go.” 

Will hangs up before he can hear Mike's protest. Will’s heart is beating a mile a minute. He quickly goes onto spotify to delete the playlist. Not that the damage hasn't already been done but Mike doesn't need to keep seeing it. 

But then Will sees something different. The playlist isn't on there. However, there is one he doesn't recognize. It's titled “My Heart Is Yours”. It's filled with the sappiest of love songs.  
Mike try's calling Will again but Will ignores it and opts to text Mike instead. He can't look at Mike's face right now, he wouldn't be able to handle it.

 

To: <3LOML<3  
April 12th, 2017 at 9:04 p.m. 

what tHE FUCK 

 

To: Will Baeyers  
April 12th, 2017 at 9:04 p.m 

WHAT DO YOU MEAN? WAS THAT PLAYLIST ABOUT ME? 

 

To: <3LOML<3  
April 12th, 2017 at 9:04 p.m. 

DID EL TELL YOU? 

 

To: Will Baeyers  
April 12th, 2017 at 9:05 p.m 

NOT DIRECTLY

 

To: <3LOML<3  
April 12th, 2017 at 9:05 p.m. 

WOULD YOU BELIEVE ME IF I SAID IT WASNT 

 

To: Will Baeyers  
April 12th, 2017 at 9:05 p.m 

i'd be sad if it wasn't about me

 

Will has to resist the urge to throw his phone across his room and scream into his pillow. Is Mike messing with him? No. Will dismisses that thoughts almost immediately. Mike would never do that. Will takes a deep breath as he types out his reply 

 

To: <3LOML<3  
April 12th, 2017 at 9:07 p.m. 

yes the playlist was about you

 

***

 

Mike trips over his bed as he rushes out the door of his room and nearly falls down the steps. 

“MOM I’m going over to Will’s and I’m going to spend the night okay bye!” Mike yells as he runs out his front door. He barely hears his mother call after him to text her when he gets there. He grabs his bike and pedals as fast as his legs can take him.

However Mike doesn't remember that he didn't text Will back. 

 

***

 

Will paces his room as Eleven sits on his bed watching him with worry in her eyes. 

“He hasn't texted me back in ten minutes El. He was responding within seconds before and now? Oh god I should've lied.” 

“Friends don't lie.” 

“El he might not even want to be my friend anymore after what I just admitted to him.”

“That's not true. Mike will always care about you.” 

“It'll hurt like hell when he finds someone else.” 

“Will, Mike really really cares about you.”

Will is about to respond but then he hears the front door slam open.

“Mike what the hell are you doing here?” Will hears Hopper ask. 

Within seconds Will's bedroom door bursts open and Mike is there. Standing in front of Will. Red in the face and breathing heavy. 

Eleven looks back and forth between them; her eyes gleam. 

“Mike, what are you…?” 

Will doesn't have time to finish his sentence because Mike strode over to him and started kissing him. 

And oh. Maybe this is why Will’s brain never allowed him to dream about Mike kissing him. Nothing could compare to the real deal. 

Will is acutely aware that Eleven is clapping and hollering “Finally!” 

Mike pulls back first and rests his forehead against Will’s.

“So I kinda told my mom I was going to sleep over.” Mike says, with a smile so big it looks like his cheeks will hurt. 

“Good because I wouldn't want to kiss and ditch me.” 

“Never.” 

“We didn't say Mike could spend the night,” Hopper days from Will’s doorway with a scowl on his face. Joyce is behind him. Her hand covers her mouth and her eyes are crinkled up. Jonathan is holding his camera. 

“Can Mike spend the night?”

Hoppers scowl immediately disappears and is replaced by a small smile. 

“Of course he can.” 

Mike flashes his thousand dollar smile at them kisses Will’s nose. 

 

*** 

 

“It's gonna take a lot to take me away from you! There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do!” Mike croons.

“I bless the rains down in Africa! Gonna take some time to do the things we never had!” Will replies.

Mike and Will hear their friends protests to their duet which is frankly quite good if Mike says so himself. 

“I blame this on you,” Lucas says to Dustin.

“Why me?”

“Because you encouraged Mike and now we have to deal with them singing sappy love songs!” 

Mike agrees that they really are sappy but it makes Will smile and Mike would do anything to see that smile. He's finally glad he can call that smile his. 

And Will is happy because now he has a new playlists of songs Mike will sing to him.

**Author's Note:**

> follow me on tumblr at poedcmxron!


End file.
